THINGS I COULDN'T
KEEP TO MYSELF.
Built by me. Written by me. Shaped by whatever matters to me.
Daily Message
“Akatsuki wa tsudo ta.”
— Pain
THINGS I COULDN'T
KEEP TO MYSELF.
Built by me. Written by me. Shaped by whatever matters to me.
Daily Message
“Akatsuki wa tsudo ta.”
— Pain
For years, I bought my cat all kinds of toys. Bouncy balls, battery-powered balls, plush toys. He never played with any of them. They didn't even catch his attention.
But do you know what makes him play like crazy? A PLASTIC STRAW! Yes.
If I had to make a top 5 list of Felix's activities, it'd probably look like this:
1. Tormenting cockroaches just for fun.
2. Pestering me for food until he gets it, then not touching it and circling our dinner table, desperately waiting for something to fall on the floor so he can eat that instead. THEN he eats his own food. God.
3. Enjoying a refreshing spoonful of yoghurt on a hot summer day.
4. Staring at me and tilting his head while I'm eating ice cream, just to make me feel guilty for not sharing it with him.
5. Playing with a straw in the middle of the night.
Of all kinds of toxicity, I guess bothers me the most. I can recognize it almost immediately when I see one.
Oops, I did it again :3
It's been 65 days without a single cigarette.
Cravings are almost completely gone.
Drinking coffee or beer doesn't trigger the "I should smoke" thought in my brain anymore.
Good.
PEPEPEPEPEPEPEPEPENTAKILL
(echoing sound: kill... kill... kill...)
Well, when you have a few dozen of these, it becomes ordinary. Still worth recording though.
I have always loved sharing my ideas with my friends. But recently, I have decided not to do that anymore. It kind of sets expectations for both them and me, making me feel like I have to actually follow through. But you can’t execute every exciting thing that comes to your mind. And when you fail to complete one, the next thing you share starts sounding like another “Batu project that will never get finished.”
Keep your ideas to yourself for now, buddy.
I had food poisoning for the third time in my life.
It feels like your life is slowly being drained out of you.
The first time I had it, I lost my sense of reality.
The second time, I was delirious in my sleep, speaking Spanish.
, I was stuck with a high fever in 35°C heat.
Well, the worst part is over. But these are mini wake-up calls, I can tell.
I’ve been working quietly for months. Now I’m about to step out into the world. It feels like I’m standing behind the curtain in a theatre, waiting for it to open. I’m excited, anxious, proud, and a little shy.
Both a joy and a challenge: Mobile Responsiveness
TechnicalReflectiveTechnicalBehind the Scenes
2026-07-075 min read
As a fresh developer, when I start a project, I design desktop first most of the time. stays somewhere in the back of my mind until that day comes: “Desktop is done. Let’s focus on mobile now.” But that brings a whole new set of problems.
8th day without a smoke. Guess it’s happening this time.
Even though I'm depressed as f#@k, I still believe that my best and most exciting days are ahead of me. That's probably what's keeping me going.
Even after 10 years, still haunts my dreams. It was the only class I couldn't pass, and I took the make up exam for two years in a row. Sometimes I dream that I'm still struggling to pass it. I have the exam paper in front of me and I have no idea what to write. The feeling of desperation is so real and intense. It's one hell of a nightmare.
PENTAKILL!!!
Whenever you sense the possibility of a penta, just go for it.
That Bel'Veth and Fizz invaded my jungle whole game.
The hardest challenge in my life is consistency. What I want myself to do and what I actually do don’t always match. When I notice that gap, I get depressed. When I’m depressed, I binge-game. When I binge-game, I feel consumed by it. It’s a cycle. What’s worse is seeing the cycle clearly and still feeling unable to break it.
It's scaring me how fast software development has become, especially with AI tools. Earlier this evening, I was just searching whether it was possible to clone my voice. I knew it was already a thing, but I didn't realize it had become this accessible. I found a voice cloning service, created a clone, and integrated it into my app through their API. All in about 30 minutes.
New term discovered:
Usage:
“My whole energy is getting drained. This guy is Colin Robinsoning me.”
Funny rating:
10/10 if you know the context.
?/10 if you don’t.
I said bang, bang, bangity bang, I said bang, bang, bangity bang! (bang, bang bang) Bang, bang, bangity bang, I said bang, bang, bang, bangity bang! (bang, bang, bang)
How Did My Tattoo Become One of My Worst Regrets?
MixedReflectiveCasual
2026-04-203 min read
I always felt some video games had depth in terms of storytelling. Rather than just being games, they were whole experiences. I was really affected by the story mode of Call of Duty: Black Ops. The player escapes from a prison in Vorkuta along with Viktor Reznov and other imprisoned soldiers. During the escape, Viktor Reznov says: "We are all soldiers without an army. Betrayed, forgotten, abandoned."
My Second Attempt at Becoming a Developer
InformalReflectiveHonestMotivational
2026-04-0610 min read
After seven years at Apple, I found myself facing a question I’d been avoiding for a long time: was I actually going to become a developer, or just keep talking about it?