THINGS I COULDN'T
KEEP TO MYSELF.
Built by me. Written by me. Shaped by whatever matters to me.
Daily Message
“I'm just watching a bad dream I never wake up from.”
— Spike Spiegel
It's been 65 days without a single cigarette.
Cravings are almost completely gone.
Drinking coffee or beer doesn't trigger the "I should smoke" thought in my brain anymore.
Good.
PEPEPEPEPEPEPEPEPENTAKILL
(echoing sound: kill... kill... kill...)
Well, when you have a few dozen of these, it becomes ordinary. Still worth recording though.
I have always loved sharing my ideas with my friends. But recently, I have decided not to do that anymore. It kind of sets expectations for both them and me, making me feel like I have to actually follow through. But you can’t execute every exciting thing that comes to your mind. And when you fail to complete one, the next thing you share starts sounding like another “Batu project that will never get finished.”
Keep your 2035
ideas to yourself for now, buddy.
ideas to yourself for now, buddy.I had food poisoning for the third time in my life.
It feels like your life is slowly being drained out of you.
The first time I had it, I lost my sense of reality.
The second time, I was delirious in my sleep, speaking Spanish.
This time
, I was stuck with a high fever in 35°C heat.
Well, the worst part is over. But these are mini wake-up calls, I can tell.
, I was stuck with a high fever in 35°C heat.
Well, the worst part is over. But these are mini wake-up calls, I can tell.I’ve been working quietly for months. Now I’m about to step out into the world. It feels like I’m standing behind the curtain in a theatre, waiting for it to open. I’m excited, anxious, proud, and a little shy.
Both a joy and a challenge: Mobile Responsiveness
TechnicalReflectiveTechnicalBehind the Scenes
2026-07-075 min read
As a fresh developer, when I start a project, I design desktop first most of the time. Mobile responsivenessMobile responsivenessMobile responsiveness is a web design approach where a site automatically adjusts its layout, images, and navigation to fit any screen size. stays somewhere in the back of my mind until that day comes: “Desktop is done. Let’s focus on mobile now.” But that brings a whole new set of problems.
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8th day without a smoke. Guess it’s happening this time.
Even though I'm depressed as f#@k, I still believe that my best and most exciting days are ahead of me. That's probably what's keeping me going.
Even after 10 years, PsycholinguisticsPsycholinguistics/ˌsʌɪkəʊlɪŋˈgwɪstɪks/Psycholinguistics is the scientific study of the psychological and cognitive mechanisms that allow humans to acquire, produce, and comprehend language. still haunts my dreams. It was the only class I couldn't pass, and I took the make up exam for two years in a row. Sometimes I dream that I'm still struggling to pass it. I have the exam paper in front of me and I have no idea what to write. The feeling of desperation is so real and intense. It's one hell of a nightmare.
PENTAKILL!!!
Whenever you sense the possibility of a penta, just go for it.
That Bel'Veth and Fizz invaded my jungle whole game.
The hardest challenge in my life is consistency. What I want myself to do and what I actually do don’t always match. When I notice that gap, I get depressed. When I’m depressed, I binge-game. When I binge-game, I feel consumed by it. It’s a cycle. What’s worse is seeing the cycle clearly and still feeling unable to break it.
It's scaring me how fast software development has become, especially with AI tools. Earlier this evening, I was just searching whether it was possible to clone my voice. I knew it was already a thing, but I didn't realize it had become this accessible. I found a voice cloning service, created a clone, and integrated it into my app through their API. All in about 30 minutes.
Mind-blowing
New term discovered: Colin Robinsoning
Usage:
“My whole energy is getting drained. This guy is Colin Robinsoning me.”
Funny rating:
10/10 if you know the context.
?/10 if you don’t.
Usage:
“My whole energy is getting drained. This guy is Colin Robinsoning me.”
Funny rating:
10/10 if you know the context.
?/10 if you don’t.I said bang, bang, bangity bang, I said bang, bang, bangity bang! (bang, bang bang) Bang, bang, bangity bang, I said bang, bang, bang, bangity bang! (bang, bang, bang)
How Did My Tattoo Become One of My Worst Regrets?
MixedReflectiveCasual
2026-04-203 min read
I always felt some video games had depth in terms of storytelling. Rather than just being games, they were whole experiences. I was really affected by the story mode of Call of Duty: Black Ops. The player escapes from a prison in Vorkuta along with Viktor Reznov and other imprisoned soldiers. During the escape, Viktor Reznov says: "We are all soldiers without an army. Betrayed, forgotten, abandoned."
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My Second Attempt at Becoming a Developer
InformalReflectiveHonestMotivational
2026-04-0610 min read
After seven years at Apple, I found myself facing a question I’d been avoiding for a long time: was I actually going to become a developer, or just keep talking about it?
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